I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
