just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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