Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
