omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I want a musical about memes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
