Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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