Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
