Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
