he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
