I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
