Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
