Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.

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(913): My favorite part of our friendship is your tits. http://tfl.nu/3eyr

Replies (19) Good night (4505) Bad night (840)
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(510): View more from California

Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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(510): Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret. http://tfl.nu/p1m5

Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (3665)
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(515): View more from Iowa

the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me

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(515): the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me http://tfl.nu/qt23

Replies (11) Good night (5111) Bad night (970)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat

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(978): Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat http://tfl.nu/fgz1

Replies (17) Good night (4484) Bad night (1242)
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(847): View more from Illinois

What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?

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(847): What sexual position says im sorry for your loss? http://tfl.nu/sjhl

Replies (27) Good night (2492) Bad night (922)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

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(215): We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left. http://tfl.nu/c9gd

Replies (6) Good night (789) Bad night (2245)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.

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(575): You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup. http://tfl.nu/dggj

Replies (4) Good night (4620) Bad night (1255)
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(519): View more from Ontario

It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.

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(519): It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/mbje

Replies (8) Good night (2680) Bad night (797)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning

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(314): I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning http://tfl.nu/jesw

Replies (1) Good night (880) Bad night (1127)
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(785): View more from Kansas

And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.

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(785): And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week. http://tfl.nu/s5eh

Replies (10) Good night (810) Bad night (2044)
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(319): View more from Iowa

If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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(319): If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine. http://tfl.nu/56iw

Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (1137)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I drink to make the karaoke go away.

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(610): I drink to make the karaoke go away. http://tfl.nu/0jio

Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (432)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter

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(513): I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter http://tfl.nu/gfsm

Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (483)
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(315): View more from New York

sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off

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(315): sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off http://tfl.nu/l1w9

Replies (0) Good night (812) Bad night (367)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.

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(856): Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should. http://tfl.nu/5q2z

Replies (5) Good night (273) Bad night (1029)

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