Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible http://tfl.nu/51ze
  Replies (22) Good night (677) Bad night (2989)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off. http://tfl.nu/1s60
  Replies (80) Good night (777) Bad night (6593)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now. http://tfl.nu/qiaj
  Replies (40) Good night (8900) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this http://tfl.nu/4kx4
  Replies (16) Good night (5136) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs. http://tfl.nu/nz73
  Replies (13) Good night (8078) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing. http://tfl.nu/wqpy
  Replies (7) Good night (4218) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong??? http://tfl.nu/adeh
  Replies (13) Good night (1155) Bad night (3406)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when that happens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again (443): I hate when that happens http://tfl.nu/8tar
  Replies (2) Good night (1628) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer. http://tfl.nu/3cyq
  Replies (3) Good night (2058) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post http://tfl.nu/8lgm
  Replies (17) Good night (2647) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that. http://tfl.nu/uw0f
  Replies (1) Good night (1409) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uk4u
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Also I found and fixed my beer gun. http://tfl.nu/qi6j
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight. http://tfl.nu/npw7
  Replies (14) Good night (556) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night. http://tfl.nu/xh92
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (166)

Randomize