TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
