I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
