3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
