i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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