During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
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I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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