He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
