Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hippo gnu deer
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
