He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
