Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
