I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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