you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
