PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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