dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
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I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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