The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
