my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize