Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My bed smells like the plague
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
