Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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