I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize