she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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