He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
