Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
