I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
