You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
