totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
