I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
