Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
