Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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