I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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