He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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