Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
