Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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