She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
