I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
