hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
