He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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