i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
