then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize