YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
