I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
