i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can I color on your dick again?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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