My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
