At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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