She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
