I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
