Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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