You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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