Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize