home. puking in laundry basket.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
