dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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