I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
