btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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