Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
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I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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