Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
